our journey of hope and healing through autism

Out of breath


Sometimes, there are beautiful moments, where Hannah is able to play and enjoy life like other little children about her age. (Which is easier said than done for a kiddo who spends 20 hours a week in therapy).

A week ago, we’d had a picnic dinner on our lawn, because it was hotter inside than outside.  Afterward, everyone else went inside, and I sat and watched as Hannah rode her scooter up and down the sidewalk.  My daughter can talk. She can ride a trike, and sleep well at night.   Most days, she works and plays through 4-6 hours of therapy happily.  Most weeks she go by without a screaming fit.   All things that a year and a half ago were far , far out of reach.  Sometimes, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude so intense that I can barely breath.  She has come so far in the last 15 months, through intense therapy, diet, treating yeast, and through answers to prayers.


Then, there are moments where the ache in my heart speaks out, and remindsme of how far we have to go.

Recently, a  awesome friend of Evan’s brought over his younger sister.  She’s 7.  Hannah was excited to meet a new friend, but the things she says to express that don’t fit with our society’s norm of greetings.  The little girl looked at Hannah with a that look of “What is wrong with you?”  (Before you worry much- the same little girl has since been very kind and sweet to Hannah, so no worries there).  It was one of many reality checks.

Adults tend to be more forgiving of Hannah’s verbal quirks, but kids aren’t as much.   The neighbor kids are good at including Hannah when Sarah is around to play, but only one of them seeks Hannah out to play (some of the time.)  Hannah LOVES her peers, and is interested in everyone around her.  She asks and learns people’s names quickly.  She asks daily when friends are going to come play.   Social skill training, and biomedical treatments are controversial in the autism community.  If I were only in pursuit of my goals for my child, maybe I would feel different about all of this.  She wants so badly to have friends, to play, and to be heard.

And so, we’ll push on, and play on (since  children learn through playing).  I’ve learned that a good thing about not knowing the future, is that once you over come the fear of what you cannot see, the uncertainty can propel you forward in a way that knowing the future outcome wouldn’t.

We would not be where we are at without the following interventions:

-Gluten-Free, Casein-Free since Sept 2011

-Specific Carbohydrate Diet since April 2012

-Anti Candida Diet and mostly hormone & antibiotic free meat since Nov 2012

-Herbal anti-yeast and parasitic- early Dec. ’12 – Feb ’13 and July ’13- now

-Nystatin- started Dec. 15,  ’12 – Feb ’13 and July ’13- now

-Multivitamin, Acidophilus, Fermented Cod Liver Oil, Magnesium Glycinate, Zinc Chelate, Pyridoxyl-5-Phosphate

-Methyl B-12 shots since Feb. ’13

-23-ish hours per week of play based therapy (OT, speech, behavioral) during the school year

-Prayer- has a power all it’s own.  🙂


One comment on “Out of breath

  1. Jenny
    August 5, 2013

    You have a way of expressing things that is just so eloquent. I love you and love Hannah! A friend has been reading your blog and has made a few changes that are helping her child. Keep sharing your journey with all of us. You’re amazing!

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This entry was posted on August 4, 2013 by in autism, biomedical, feelings, hard things, sleeping, things to celebrate, What's Up Lately.
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