our journey of hope and healing through autism

You’ve got what it takes

You've got everything is takes


I try every day to be positive, to keep my head up, and to work my tail off to help Hannah and my other kids have the best possibility for a healthy, happy, fulfilled life (physically, spiritually, interpersonally`).   This past week,  I have felt tired and careworn.  Lack of sleep, and other cares, have ripped open the clasp on the box I usually tuck my fear and weariness in, and waved them in front of my face.

At times, I feel quite a lone. While things are difficult, I am blessed to feel family rally around me, even if it’s from afar.  Blessed with sisters who drove a thousand miles with three little kiddos to visit us this past summer. With a dad who prays for my kids daily and calls to hear how Hannah is progressing.  I’m blessed with a mother-in-law who calls to see how I’m holding up, and a father-in-law who, though he lives 3 hours away, takes his time to cut and wrap deer meat from a hunter friend of his, which they bring to us in a cooler when they pass through Calgary.  I’m blessed with parents who, unasked, sent us money to use for an expensive biomedical lab test we wanted to do. (I wouldn’t normally accept, but for my child, I will swallow my pride).  Blessed with a sister in law who has the gift of showing an interest in how things are going without making  feel like our struggles are too weird or tragic.

I try every day to be grateful for the progress Hannah has made.  Some days it’s easy- Hannah has made fantastic progress, especially in the 9 months since we started the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.  Some days, the sheer effort that it takes to sustain the dietary efforts and have play therapy happening at the house 23 hours a week feels like a marathon.  I am so, so grateful to have the level of services we have, but I am tired too.  (Perhaps I’d feel less tired if our Christmas break wasn’t followed immediately by a round of stomach flu for everyone but me.  Maybe I’ve fought it off well enough to not feel sick, but maybe just run down.)  When I was eating only SCD foods, I noticed a difference in my ability to handle stress, so starting today, I’m going back to eating SCD.  I think it’s better for Hannah, too, if she sees me eating the things she eats.  Hopefully, I’ll have my A game on soon!



4 comments on “You’ve got what it takes

  1. Donna J. Dingwall
    January 21, 2013

    Becky….you never cease to amazing me. I love your positive outlook on life and your position as a Mom and the way you handle what you have been given. You will never be able to say that you didn’t try. Good on ya. If there is anything you need help with, I will do what I can. I know you don’t like to ask, I am willing, just sayin’.

    • holdingtomorrow
      January 21, 2013

      Thank you, Donna. You are a huge blessing to me. I’ve been missing my family a lot lately, and hence the writing about family, but you have been there for me so many times, and I’m so grateful to have you helping Hannah in primary. Hugs. 🙂

  2. Jenny
    February 13, 2013

    I did not comment right away, but I want you to know I did read this post and was touched. Thank you. I love you and it was a pleasure to come visit last summer. I hope I can come again this summer, but I am not sure. Thank you for sharing that quote… I have reflected on it a lot and shared it with a friend that is struggling!

    • holdingtomorrow
      February 13, 2013

      Thank you Jenny. 🙂 I sure love you! I put a package in the mail for your birthday yesterday (I’m sorry I’m late!) I sure love you!

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This entry was posted on January 20, 2013 by in feelings, things to celebrate, What's Up Lately and tagged , .
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