our journey of hope and healing through autism

All I Want for Christmas

Receiving gifts for my birthday and Christmas (and Mother’s Day and anniversary…) has always been a big deal to me.  I may like to buy my own presents, but getting the presents was just really important to me.  Perhaps it’s a deep down feeling of insignificance crying out that “Don’t forget me!”, or something.

Over the past year and a half, Hannah’s autism journey tore my heart to pieces. I’m so grateful to have had the chance to rebuild. I am not quite the same girl I used to be.  One of the things that has changed is what I want from life.

So shall I tell you what I want for Christmas this year?  Lean in close, and I’ll tell you.


Recovery for Hannah. (There are children recovering from autism. Believe me, or not, we can still be friends.)

It’s is both nothing for me, and everything.

I remember the 10 months while Hannah was on the waiting list for assessment (before starting the specific carbohydrate diet which was the beginning of Hannah’s big improvements) of kneeling nightly, pleading with God.  Please, don’t let my baby have autism.  Please, anything but that.  I will do anything, I promised, to help her get better. Anything.  (Not out of a blind fear of what autism is, but rather, through seeing glimpses of the pain that friends and family of mine, who are on the autism spectrum, experience throughout their lives due to the lack of understanding of others).

I would fall in to bed, and cry myself to sleep-night after night. Month after month.  And then, I’m convinced through divine guidance, we were led to the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.  Right away, Hannah started to improve dramatically in sleep and frustration tolerance.  In the past nine months, she has made fabulous progress-in language,  social skills,  potty training,  handling sensory input, eating a variety of foods, and imaginative play.  Fueled by the improvements, we have added supplements (She’s now taking 7 a day- a multivitamin, Acidophilus, Fermented Cod Liver Oil, plus extra Magnesium Glycinate, Zinc Chelate, Vitamin D, and Pyridoxal 5-Phosphate -a form of B-6 ).   It’s expensive, but we are seeing more and more improvements (I’ll post about the most recent ones tomorrow).  Hannah’s stool sample lab results are back- she has no good bacteria growing in her gut, and an overgrowth of yeast, bad bacteria, and other bad things.  Three days ago, Hannah started the anti-fungal medication, Nystatin, to kill the yeast overgrowth.  We’ll work, bit by bit through each problem in her gut, and I feel confident that we’ll continue to see improvements.

So, for now, the 32 year old carpet (no joke!) can stay on the stairs, and I’m making peace with my vintage-chic cabinets, and unfinished basement.  There’s nothing I want more for Christmas than to help my girl get better.  I thank God every day that Hannah is responding to many of  the biomedical treatments we are trying.  I have felt His guiding hand as I have studied and searched where to turn next for continued improvements, and I am couldn’t ask for anything more.


5 comments on “All I Want for Christmas

  1. sarah
    December 24, 2012

    Merry Christmas, Becky.

  2. Pingback: Healing children with autism blog list « Raising a Sensitive Child

  3. Janice
    December 25, 2012

    Hi Becky: I came across your blog and wanted to let you know that I join you in your prayers for your daughter. I’m compiling a list of parents who are blogging about their journey of recovering their children from autism and have added your blog to my list here: http://crystalchild.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/healing-children-with-autism/

    Merry Christmas for you and your family.

    • holdingtomorrow
      December 25, 2012

      That is wonderful! Thank you for including me, and I’m thrilled to find a list of like minded parents who are blogging. Thank you for what you are doing! Merry Christmas!

  4. Donna J. Dingwall
    December 26, 2012

    Truly the most selfless gift a person could ask for.


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rantings,ravings and thoughts of a christian mom with a son on the spectrum

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